Cindee Zellane was a bomb whose walk had stopped many a heart, as her heels clicked clickity-clack across a floor. She led with her long animal legs, those wonderful devices that served to power her favorite method of transport. Two muscular instruments which ended in the mystery of her middle.
Even in clothes her body was such that to see her was to leave little to the imagination. Or rather, it was to leave just the right amount left to your imagination, while putting enough on plain display, out there, for free to sample, as it were, to make you wonder what the rest was like. And wonder how you might arrange things such that you would be lucky enough to get to do more than wonder.
But despite what was said above, Cindee did find sometimes that clothes were too restricting and on this night in particular she chose to go out with very little of them at all. Plus she liked to make men drool. It was an easy thing to do. If you were Cindee Zellane. A bomb whose walk could stop a heart. With heels that went clickity-clack, and toes that went tippity-tap, and two long animal legs. An engine, machine, a mystery in the middle. A plan to conquer the planet. Starting first with one half of her species. The other half. Starting tonight. They would soon learn to make way for Cindee Zellane.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Captain Ganymo Revisited
"You look down," said Ganymo to the woman. "Like you need a lift. Speaking of needing lifts have I mentioned I have a ship? My own starship? Private cabin. Large bed. Stop me if you've heard this before."
"I have heard this before," she replied. "But I'm not stopping you."
"So I'll keep going. In fact, we can both keep going. We can go there together. Right now would be an ideal time for both of us to go there together. Because my sources tell me that a fleet of Imperial warships are approaching this planet even as we speak. They could be here any time. I suggest we attempt to escape, but that means to evacuate with all due speed and post-haste. Okay? Ready?"
"Yes."
"Great. Follow me."
Then they both got up and left the room post-haste.
"I have heard this before," she replied. "But I'm not stopping you."
"So I'll keep going. In fact, we can both keep going. We can go there together. Right now would be an ideal time for both of us to go there together. Because my sources tell me that a fleet of Imperial warships are approaching this planet even as we speak. They could be here any time. I suggest we attempt to escape, but that means to evacuate with all due speed and post-haste. Okay? Ready?"
"Yes."
"Great. Follow me."
Then they both got up and left the room post-haste.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
The Sea of Infinity
The ship propelled itself through the Sea of Infinity.
Its mission was to find and return to civilization a powerful ancient artifact lost a thousand years before but believed to be located somewhere in the quadrant ahead. Many ships had searched for it before and failed.
Captain Ganymo commanded a 100-man elite crew aboard this ship, named Arcadium, and it had began its voyage from the main orbital station of the planet Ryvon IV.
The ship bore a full platoon of special forces troops whose purpose was both to provide groundside defense and to defeat any hostile entities blocking their acquisition of the artifact.
Its mission was to find and return to civilization a powerful ancient artifact lost a thousand years before but believed to be located somewhere in the quadrant ahead. Many ships had searched for it before and failed.
Captain Ganymo commanded a 100-man elite crew aboard this ship, named Arcadium, and it had began its voyage from the main orbital station of the planet Ryvon IV.
The ship bore a full platoon of special forces troops whose purpose was both to provide groundside defense and to defeat any hostile entities blocking their acquisition of the artifact.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
CDST - The CEO
The CEO of CDST was Barry Wangleberry. He lived in a giant crystal palace located on top of the tallest mountain of the planet Ampon. He had one wife, two kids, three mistresses, four assistants (also mistresses, but only part-time), five lawyers, six accountants, seven bodyguards, eight cars and nine places of residence spread across ten planets. You may be wondering how he could possibly have nine residences across ten planets. Let's just say it involves advanced technology and is very very expensive. The man makes big bucks. After all, he's a CEO of a major galactic travel service. Without his vision ("Sell tickets! Make a profit! Do things better!") and leadership ("You guys rock! Bad doggie, no biscuit!") the company would not be able to execute or deliver such massive profits to it's shareholders. Well, to it's shareholder. There was only one. You can probably guess who that was.
Cheap Deep Space Tickets, part 2
On the day the adventure started that is the main focus of this story (the adventure being the sequence of events that played out, whether by intent or accident, during the execution of Bob's plan to escape from his planet and his employer, CDST) our poor hero, Bob, had a fairly typical experience at work. For example, in the morning he was summoned to a meeting with his manager (whose name was not important) to discuss something important. Important to the company anyway. But not to Bob. Let's listen in on that meeting.
"Bob. It comes down to this," said his manager. "We need you to repeat the mantras. If you don't repeat the mantras, I'm afraid we can't give you any more pudding."
"No mantras, no pudding." - Bob
"Correct."
"I see. Well then. I'll have to think about that." - Bob
"Also, this cup of kool-aid here. We're asking you to drink this. Don't worry, it won't kill you or anything. It just makes your head feel a little funny. That's all. Promise."
"You want me to drink that?" - said Bob, pointing at the cup that his manager had placed on the table between them. It was filled with a mysterious red liquid of unknown composition.
"Correct."
"Do I have to drink it right now? Or can I do it sometime in the future, like perhaps later this month. When it's more convenient? I'm a little busy now."
"Sure, Bob. No problem. But I would need to see an action plan, a project kickoff form and a list of milestones. And we'll need to get it signed off on by all your stakeholders."
"My stakeholders?" - Bob
"Correct."
"But if I drink it right now, then I won't need to do those things?"
"Correct."
"Wow. Okay. I'll have to think about that. Can I get back to you later this afternoon on what my choice will be?"
"Sure, Bob. No problem. We're flexible here. Flex-work (TM). It's part of our Plan To Win. And we only want winners here. And planners, I guess." - manager
"I'd like to be a winner." - Bob
"No problem, Bob. I'll be your planner. A perfect team. One winner combined with one planner. That's teamwork, Bob. It's all about planning. Teams that plan, win."
"Great!" - Bob
"Yeah sounds great. Well it's been great meeting with you, Bob. Let me know if there's anything you need. I can cross-matrix with my stakeholders if you need cross-departmental support on anything. That's why I'm here. That and to help you plan."
"Thanks. Are we done with the meeting now? Can I go?" - Bob
"Yes. Let me know on your kool-aid decision. Call me, text me, stop by, whatever."
"Will do." - Bob, then both leave the meeting.
"Bob. It comes down to this," said his manager. "We need you to repeat the mantras. If you don't repeat the mantras, I'm afraid we can't give you any more pudding."
"No mantras, no pudding." - Bob
"Correct."
"I see. Well then. I'll have to think about that." - Bob
"Also, this cup of kool-aid here. We're asking you to drink this. Don't worry, it won't kill you or anything. It just makes your head feel a little funny. That's all. Promise."
"You want me to drink that?" - said Bob, pointing at the cup that his manager had placed on the table between them. It was filled with a mysterious red liquid of unknown composition.
"Correct."
"Do I have to drink it right now? Or can I do it sometime in the future, like perhaps later this month. When it's more convenient? I'm a little busy now."
"Sure, Bob. No problem. But I would need to see an action plan, a project kickoff form and a list of milestones. And we'll need to get it signed off on by all your stakeholders."
"My stakeholders?" - Bob
"Correct."
"But if I drink it right now, then I won't need to do those things?"
"Correct."
"Wow. Okay. I'll have to think about that. Can I get back to you later this afternoon on what my choice will be?"
"Sure, Bob. No problem. We're flexible here. Flex-work (TM). It's part of our Plan To Win. And we only want winners here. And planners, I guess." - manager
"I'd like to be a winner." - Bob
"No problem, Bob. I'll be your planner. A perfect team. One winner combined with one planner. That's teamwork, Bob. It's all about planning. Teams that plan, win."
"Great!" - Bob
"Yeah sounds great. Well it's been great meeting with you, Bob. Let me know if there's anything you need. I can cross-matrix with my stakeholders if you need cross-departmental support on anything. That's why I'm here. That and to help you plan."
"Thanks. Are we done with the meeting now? Can I go?" - Bob
"Yes. Let me know on your kool-aid decision. Call me, text me, stop by, whatever."
"Will do." - Bob, then both leave the meeting.
Cheap Deep Space Tickets
Once upon a time there was a guy whose name was Bob.
Bob worked for a large mindless corporation riddled with rules and idiots.
It was named Cheap Deep Space Tickets.
Its headquarters covered a planet.
The walls of its headquarters building were made of thin plastic.
The planet was made out of cheese.
Bob was born and raised on the planet.
And unfortunately he hated cheese.
There was only one employer on the planet and he could not afford to move off of it.
So he had no choice but to work for CDST, if he wanted to work at all.
Susan also worked for CDST but for a different department and on a different floor from Bob.
One day Bob hatched a plan to escape from CDST and the planet.
Susan got tangled up in the execution of the plan and so she ended up escaping from CDST and the planet along with Bob.
This story is about Bob and Susan and their escape from CDST and that planet.
Their company, CDST, provided travel booking services for everyone in the galaxy.
They had thousands of employees spread across hundreds of planets, though most were at the central headquarters location on their home planet. The travel booking service was mostly software and it only took one person to create and maintain the software. One decent software engineer. Which was Bob. So he wasn't sure exactly why the rest of the employees were needed. It seemed like a big house of cards to him. Which made him like it even less. Because he hated waste, stupidity or inefficiency. All of which CDST seemed to have in abundance. But he drank the kool aid, and went along, because he needed the money and didn't have any other choice of employment on his planet. And, as has been mentioned before, he could not (yet) afford to leave it. But he planned to change that. Real soon now. Oh yes. So very soon. Starting this very afternoon. Or maybe starting tomorrow. Or next week. Because this week was pretty busy for him. Actually the whole month was bad.
...
(to be continued)
Bob worked for a large mindless corporation riddled with rules and idiots.
It was named Cheap Deep Space Tickets.
Its headquarters covered a planet.
The walls of its headquarters building were made of thin plastic.
The planet was made out of cheese.
Bob was born and raised on the planet.
And unfortunately he hated cheese.
There was only one employer on the planet and he could not afford to move off of it.
So he had no choice but to work for CDST, if he wanted to work at all.
Susan also worked for CDST but for a different department and on a different floor from Bob.
One day Bob hatched a plan to escape from CDST and the planet.
Susan got tangled up in the execution of the plan and so she ended up escaping from CDST and the planet along with Bob.
This story is about Bob and Susan and their escape from CDST and that planet.
Their company, CDST, provided travel booking services for everyone in the galaxy.
They had thousands of employees spread across hundreds of planets, though most were at the central headquarters location on their home planet. The travel booking service was mostly software and it only took one person to create and maintain the software. One decent software engineer. Which was Bob. So he wasn't sure exactly why the rest of the employees were needed. It seemed like a big house of cards to him. Which made him like it even less. Because he hated waste, stupidity or inefficiency. All of which CDST seemed to have in abundance. But he drank the kool aid, and went along, because he needed the money and didn't have any other choice of employment on his planet. And, as has been mentioned before, he could not (yet) afford to leave it. But he planned to change that. Real soon now. Oh yes. So very soon. Starting this very afternoon. Or maybe starting tomorrow. Or next week. Because this week was pretty busy for him. Actually the whole month was bad.
...
(to be continued)
Saturday, January 12, 2008
When The Train Stopped
She got off.
When the train stopped.
That's when she got off.
Only once the motion had come to a complete stop.
She picked up a gun.
Pulled the trigger and shot.
And shot and shot.
And then eventually when she ran out of bullets, of course, she stopped.
It was fun.
But now she was done.
She put it down.
Began to frown.
When the train stopped.
That's when she got off.
Only once the motion had come to a complete stop.
She picked up a gun.
Pulled the trigger and shot.
And shot and shot.
And then eventually when she ran out of bullets, of course, she stopped.
It was fun.
But now she was done.
She put it down.
Began to frown.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
ZodLogic Mission Statement
I have a computer game startup and I recently wrote a sort of mission statement for public consumption. I'm not a big fan of pompous, serious-sounding corporate-style mission statements or company mottos, so I made mine more creative than literal.
-----------
What is the mission or purpose of the company?
It is this: to explore space, time and alternate dimensions. To go boldly where no man has gone before, or, well, perhaps one guy did, maybe, like that one time, at band camp, but not again since. And this time, we'll be recording it and taking names. Oh yes, we'll be taking names. You won't foil our plans this time, oh no. We know about your little dog. That trick won't work twice. Plus we've developed a new secret weapon that is powered by the deathscream of collapsing stars. So it's pretty powerful, I assure you. Oh yes, powerful indeed. Collapsing stars. Deathscreams. A secret weapon. You may start running now, we like to give a little headstart to all our prey. It amuses us. Wait. What is that? Someone at the door. Hold on while I answer that. Yes? Oh come in. Yes, make yourself right at home. Put the box down. Gently. Now back away, slowly. The box is much smaller than one would expect, seeing how it is supposed to contain the egg of a giant -- I see, yes. That explains it. Nevermind. My mistake. Clearly, you've planned for everything.
-----------
What is the mission or purpose of the company?
It is this: to explore space, time and alternate dimensions. To go boldly where no man has gone before, or, well, perhaps one guy did, maybe, like that one time, at band camp, but not again since. And this time, we'll be recording it and taking names. Oh yes, we'll be taking names. You won't foil our plans this time, oh no. We know about your little dog. That trick won't work twice. Plus we've developed a new secret weapon that is powered by the deathscream of collapsing stars. So it's pretty powerful, I assure you. Oh yes, powerful indeed. Collapsing stars. Deathscreams. A secret weapon. You may start running now, we like to give a little headstart to all our prey. It amuses us. Wait. What is that? Someone at the door. Hold on while I answer that. Yes? Oh come in. Yes, make yourself right at home. Put the box down. Gently. Now back away, slowly. The box is much smaller than one would expect, seeing how it is supposed to contain the egg of a giant -- I see, yes. That explains it. Nevermind. My mistake. Clearly, you've planned for everything.
Venturius Returns
Venturius emerges from the Machine. He steps out of a cloud of white smoke into the center of the room.
"I return from 1903," he announces. "I bring with me news of a great victory over the forces of darkness. We have sealed the Gates at Kalma. No demon shall pass through while our guards stand watch."
He sat down on a nearby chair. Collapsed, really. Shoulders slumped. A servant rushed to fetch him some water.
-----
[excerpt from an upcoming, unpublished computer game, currently in pre-Beta.]
"I return from 1903," he announces. "I bring with me news of a great victory over the forces of darkness. We have sealed the Gates at Kalma. No demon shall pass through while our guards stand watch."
He sat down on a nearby chair. Collapsed, really. Shoulders slumped. A servant rushed to fetch him some water.
-----
[excerpt from an upcoming, unpublished computer game, currently in pre-Beta.]
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