Sunday, January 13, 2008

Cheap Deep Space Tickets, part 2

On the day the adventure started that is the main focus of this story (the adventure being the sequence of events that played out, whether by intent or accident, during the execution of Bob's plan to escape from his planet and his employer, CDST) our poor hero, Bob, had a fairly typical experience at work. For example, in the morning he was summoned to a meeting with his manager (whose name was not important) to discuss something important. Important to the company anyway. But not to Bob. Let's listen in on that meeting.
"Bob. It comes down to this," said his manager. "We need you to repeat the mantras. If you don't repeat the mantras, I'm afraid we can't give you any more pudding."
"No mantras, no pudding." - Bob
"Correct."
"I see. Well then. I'll have to think about that." - Bob
"Also, this cup of kool-aid here. We're asking you to drink this. Don't worry, it won't kill you or anything. It just makes your head feel a little funny. That's all. Promise."
"You want me to drink that?" - said Bob, pointing at the cup that his manager had placed on the table between them. It was filled with a mysterious red liquid of unknown composition.
"Correct."
"Do I have to drink it right now? Or can I do it sometime in the future, like perhaps later this month. When it's more convenient? I'm a little busy now."
"Sure, Bob. No problem. But I would need to see an action plan, a project kickoff form and a list of milestones. And we'll need to get it signed off on by all your stakeholders."
"My stakeholders?" - Bob
"Correct."
"But if I drink it right now, then I won't need to do those things?"
"Correct."
"Wow. Okay. I'll have to think about that. Can I get back to you later this afternoon on what my choice will be?"
"Sure, Bob. No problem. We're flexible here. Flex-work (TM). It's part of our Plan To Win. And we only want winners here. And planners, I guess." - manager
"I'd like to be a winner." - Bob
"No problem, Bob. I'll be your planner. A perfect team. One winner combined with one planner. That's teamwork, Bob. It's all about planning. Teams that plan, win."
"Great!" - Bob
"Yeah sounds great. Well it's been great meeting with you, Bob. Let me know if there's anything you need. I can cross-matrix with my stakeholders if you need cross-departmental support on anything. That's why I'm here. That and to help you plan."
"Thanks. Are we done with the meeting now? Can I go?" - Bob
"Yes. Let me know on your kool-aid decision. Call me, text me, stop by, whatever."
"Will do." - Bob, then both leave the meeting.

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