I have a computer game startup and I recently wrote a sort of mission statement for public consumption. I'm not a big fan of pompous, serious-sounding corporate-style mission statements or company mottos, so I made mine more creative than literal.
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What is the mission or purpose of the company?
It is this: to explore space, time and alternate dimensions. To go boldly where no man has gone before, or, well, perhaps one guy did, maybe, like that one time, at band camp, but not again since. And this time, we'll be recording it and taking names. Oh yes, we'll be taking names. You won't foil our plans this time, oh no. We know about your little dog. That trick won't work twice. Plus we've developed a new secret weapon that is powered by the deathscream of collapsing stars. So it's pretty powerful, I assure you. Oh yes, powerful indeed. Collapsing stars. Deathscreams. A secret weapon. You may start running now, we like to give a little headstart to all our prey. It amuses us. Wait. What is that? Someone at the door. Hold on while I answer that. Yes? Oh come in. Yes, make yourself right at home. Put the box down. Gently. Now back away, slowly. The box is much smaller than one would expect, seeing how it is supposed to contain the egg of a giant -- I see, yes. That explains it. Nevermind. My mistake. Clearly, you've planned for everything.
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